Monday, November 09, 2009


Daisy Mae has been here for about five months now. We have been through the Honeymoon period, where everyone made 24/7 happy noises. We went through the first post-honeymoon period, where we had lots of slamming doors and books thrown at walls, and she called me everything but a Child of God. Plenty of tears were shed by all four of us.

We have each, in turn, threatened to throw in the towel.

"You'll never be my mother!"

"I want to call her my daughter, but not if it means destroying my family."

"This wasn't the sister I wanted. She hates me!"

"I hate it here. It's like like living in a prison."

"I can't do this. It's too hard. We're never going to be a real family."

It was scary, for awhile. I found myself thinking of that old curse: "Be careful what you wish for. You might just get it."

The last few weeks, though, we've started to achieve some normalcy. The girls fight, but it's about normal sister things, like who gets the front seat and who is touching what in whose room. Chores are getting done. Homework is getting done. Dinners are completed without anyone bursting into tears, chairs being knocked over, food thrown in the sink or stereos blasting from far corners of the house. We're back to evenings spent with a movie on the couch, discussions of hair colors and shoes, planning for spring sports, dinner at Subway on the way to the dojo.

It's like normal life.

I think we can do this.


bhd said...

Not just anybody can do this. But you sure can.

Alison said...

You definitely can do this. I have no doubt.

Lisse said...

You probably know this, but between being a teenager and Daisy Mae's personal situation, there's going to be a lot of anger. Misplaced anger.

Think of it the way a toddler tests to see where the boundaries are.

Unfortunately, as mothers, we are going to get the brunt of a lot of it. It's as if we continually have to prove that we are not going away.

You can do it. Of course you can.