Sunday, November 29, 2009

Surreal

I have, for years, seen accounts in the paper about children who have died, suddenly and tragically. These stories have always touched me deeply, and I have always found my heart breaking for the parents of these little angels. How can a parent endure this loss?

Yesterday, as I sat with the funeral director in the kitchen, the doorbell rang. My friend, Debbie, told me that there was a reporter from the local paper there. My first reaction was anger, "Why do I have vampires in my house???". But she said she was there to tell Kiersten's story. She asked if we would let her do that.

She did a lovely job. I couldn't have asked for anyone to have treated the memory of my little girl with more respect or more caring.

This morning I went to the grocery store at the corner and picked up 15 papers. As I went to the check-out, my favorite cashier was at the counter. She looked up at me and said, "what's with all the papers?" Then she froze, and looked at the front page and back to me. "Oh my God, that's your girl!" She started to cry, and hugged me, and told me to take the papers.

So now we have gone from a private tragedy to a news item. It's the most surreal thing I've ever experienced.

The outpouring of love and caring we have received from my friends in the blogosphere, my friends on Radio Paradise, and our friends on Facebook, as well as the wonderful and rich friendships in person, has been overwhelming. You never know how many friends you have until something tragic happens.

The next few days will be a whirlwind; I'm counting on the activity to keep me numb. I don't know what we will do from there.

But I thank you all for your wishes and kind words. They will remain a comfort to me as we move through this.

11 comments:

bhd said...

Consider spending the Christmas holiday with us, here. All three of you.

winter said...

BHD has a great idea, as usual.

Sue said...

I often write late at night when the house is quiet. It brings peace to my mind and allows me to reflect on the day. Thus tonight, i want to write to you. Only I cant quite yet without tears and taking deep breaths trying to think of the right stuff to say. If we only all had the wisdom of children...and Bug was full of it...remember that...hugs

sparkly_jules said...

I'm new to your blog, but I just wanted to extend my condolences on the loss of your beautiful daughter. I can't imagine how you must feel. I am so sorry.

Julie

Anonymous said...

We're here for you, Beth...constantly, effortlessly...

{{{perpetual hugs}}}

Susan/Exit2Eden

Alison said...

Love you, Beth.

Ms. Creek said...

always...let us take you on a beautiful raft trip this summer, mid june, it will be good for our soul.

i love you dearly and i'm so sorry for all your pain..

Ellie

Tom said...

That article was the one I was referencing in the comment to your last post - it was indeed lovely, and captured Kiersten's spirit and the love and appreciation that surrounded her.

I went to sleep last night thinking of you, woke up this morning thinking of you, and thought of you and your family all day... hopefully some of those thoughts made it to you - you're in my thoughts, and in my heart, always.

Tommy

Val said...

I, like you, read about children dying and feel a sense of loss for the parents and siblings left behind.

It's nice to be able to actually extend words to you, though I do not know you or your husband.

I have a 9 year old daughter and I'll continue to treasure her as I try to imagine what you must be going thru.

I'm sincerly sorry for your loss.

I was directed her by "The Rebbetzin Rocks" blog... peace.

Alexandra said...

I know what you mean about seeing all your friends come together when tragedy hits - or at least when someone dies. I saw so many people I hadn't seen in years at my brother's funeral.

I tried to imagine how it felt for you, seeing the news article and it not being "someone else's child" as it always was before. Surreal indeed.

I cannot wait to give you a big, warm "collective" hug from everyone who's told me to give you one for them, who wish they could be there this week. It will be a long next couple of days. I wish you much strength and fortitude.

Lovins (my favorite phrase of yours), Beth.

Mississippi Songbird said...

Much love to your and your family..

Stephanie