I have a confession to make. I despise flea markets.
The very act of rummaging through stuff that other people are interested in throwing out, for the purposes of buying it and taking it home, is deeply puzzling to me. It's not that I have an issue with used stuff; I find eBay and Craig's list very useful. But in those places, I say "I need one of these things here" and the web site says "Lucky you! Herbert436 in Duluth Minnesota has one of those things and wants to sell it to you." Simple. Expedient. And I never have to know if Herbert436 has teeth or not.
Not so with flea markets. These are the People of WalMart, only the People are also working behind the counters. As it happens, I live with a man who LOVES flea markets, and who comes from a long line of flea-market-loving people. So occasionally, I grit my teeth and follow him in. I normally spend my time on these excursions shaking my head and muttering to myself. Which makes me fit right in, I guess.
When in groups, however, I have an opportunity to engage in a game called, "WTF is that???", in which the object of the game is to find the cheapest, cheesiest, tackiest, or most bizarre item in the building. Ah, now it's not simply wandering in an addle-pated way down the aisles. NOW, this is a competition, and there is a goal. NOW, I can embrace the flea market.
And so this is now I began my Sunday.
Despite this being a very small market, we were blessed with several excellent contenders for the WTF award. Can you guess what won?
|Really, can you have too many pairs of yellow platform shoes?|
|Book entry #1: I think Luck and Pluck are pedophiles|
|The Bobbsey Twins meet Ahmed the Slave Trader|
|I don't even know what to say about this one...except, if you have you use the word "zany" in the description, it probably isn't...|
|I left this one larger because it won the "No, really; we meant it to look like that" award. For the Venetian glass clown|
|What flea market is complete without a Velvet Elvis painting?|
|She wishes everyone would stop looking at her boobs|
|This was my pick for winner. It's a touch lamp. With a painting of native American children about to be attacked by a demented angel. How would you like to roll over in the morning and see THAT next to your bed???|
I think that, with this game in mind, I may actually survive three or four markets a year. So stay tuned.