Wednesday, December 09, 2009

I almost feel like me.

I lasted about 4 hours at work yesterday. I'm probably only going to last 4 hours today. I get exhausted easily.

But I actually feel OK, for the first time since we lost the Bug. I'm getting some work done, I managed to crack a joke or two with my co-workers, I accepted a speaking engagement for Ireland in June. I even talked S into accompanying me down to Florida for a conference I need to attend in January.

Last night, while we were picking out urns for K's ashes (talk about a morbid activity), we took note of these little mini urns, they call "keepsakes". This disturbed me for some reason. Are these supposed to be travel sized? I wondered aloud if we should put some of K's ashes in there and take it with us wherever we went, so we could take pictures of her in all these different places. "You know, like the Stanley Cup."

First, I was horrified that I'd made the joke.

Then I laughed.

I feel like myself again today. At least for today. Tomorrow might be different.

6 comments:

K8 (short for Kate) said...

Humor sneaks up on us in the strangest situations but it is part of how we deal with big events. If you need a sitter for Daisy Mae in January, let me know. She is welcome at our place!

Justine's HouseWreck said...

Humor. Sometimes it's all there is...

winter said...

Humor is a very good thing.

Elegant_Phoenix said...

Humor is a wonderful thing. Don't feel guilty or horrified when it happens.

Some days will be up, some down, but know that you will be alright.

- Krista

Melanie said...

humor is a direct balance to sorrow... its also a good way to deal with not feeling overwhelmed every waking second of your life.

that made me smile too. I hope the bug was laughing when she heard it.

BillnDollarBaby said...

I joke that my grandmother died in February to torment me by making me return to the NE during the arctic winter. Humor is part of grieving, too. Its okay to laugh and its okay to keep living. And every day it gets easier.


Much love to you and your family, B.