Monday, March 10, 2008

Yankin' the Google...and my amazing incompetence.

So Blogpatrol says the #1 search term that brings people to this blog is

wait. for. it.

"bifurcated uvula"

That cracks me up to no end. As a result, I shall endeavour to use the words "bifurcated uvula" at least once in every post from now on. I will own this search term forevermore

I have no life, as you can plainly see.

In other news: Oh, don't you wish you'd had a movie camera at my house today???

Why? you may ask. Because today, for an hour, I entertained my neighbors with my hilarious antics trying, for the first time, to drive a tractor and operate a front-end loader. Yep. Nothing thrills the crowds like dropping the bucket down too far, and lifting the drive train clear off the ground.

All this with a seven-year-old kibitzing, with helpful comments like, "Mom! You missed the snow with that run!"

See, my dear hubby decided to cap off Saturday night by trying to clear the 21+ inches of snow from the driveway. As he backed the tractor out into the driveway, and immediately after he pulled behind BOTH cars, the old John Deere stalled. Frozen fuel lines. Joy. He decided to pop the transmission into neutral and push it out of the way. Enter the layer of ice under the snow. His left leg slipped and his MCL decided to liberate itself from its insertion point.

Did I mention the cars were trapped by the tractor in the driveway?

Had to call 911 to take him to the hospital, where they put him in an immobilizer and gave him a set of crutches. He promptly left town for a 10-day internship at the State House.

So here I was, with 52 inches of snow blocking my driveway, courtesy of the county road crew. I swear, they imported snow from the next street over to get the mound that high. Spent two hours shoveling that out yesterday, so I could drive my car through the yard (yep, I'm now glad I bought that SUV!) and get to work today.

This afternoon, however, the temperature warmed up sufficiently to start the recalcitrant tractor.

Did I mention I've never driven a tractor before? In my life? Until today.

OK, it wasn't pretty. In fact, I was the very picture of Lucille-Ball-in-the-candy-factory incompetence. But I have 145 feet of clean driveway out there now.

I am woman. Hear me roar.

Oh, and "bifurcated uvula"


winter said...

Wow. That is some bifurcated uvula, my friend.

For my blog, it's hominy. I'm one of Google's go-to sites for pictures of hominy: I get probably 6-8 hits a day from that. Occasionally I even get a comment on my hominy blog entry from way back in the day. Kinda funny.

Mike Carter said...

Ok - what I'm curious about is how do you find out how google finds you?

If my uvula were bifurcated it would be twitching in anticipation.

Mississippi Songbird said...

Now How did you find this out???lol
Bunches of hugs . Have a great day..

rebecca said...

yikes! i hope your hubby is ok!

i don't get any hits on my blogs except from you ;) and i'm pretty sure it isn't because of any good words i use LOL

Beanie said...


He's hanging in there. I sent him off with my left-over pain meds and a set of crutches. I think he'll need surgery when he gets back though. I really felt bad for him, poor sweetie.

Bifurcated uvula. With a side of hominy.

Mike Carter said...

Did you use the Google Webmaster tools? And if so, how did you verify your blog so you can see the stastics?

Beanie said...


No; I just signed up through BlogPatrol. Honestly, I just clicked on one of those handy blog counter thingys on another blog, filled in the blanks, installed a widget in my footer and presto! I have stats.

Believe me, I'm not tech-savvy enough to do anything beyond that. lol