Friday, April 23, 2010

Perspective 2

She sat across from me on the bus. We, the only two there so far, had taken seats across from each other while we waited for the others.

She'd spent the last two hours questioning me -- short, awkward questions that hinted at a desire for intimacy where before we had always had distance. I walked the line carefully -- trust is dangerous, even among women.

Thus far, I had been able to demure, focusing instead on the thousand tasks that needed to be completed. Now, however, it was just the two of us, trapped here by the expectation of our soon-arriving colleagues, and she saw her opportunity.

"So if you were to ask God a question, what would it be?"

Every cell in my body commanded me to pause, to think. I didn't.

"What job did you have for her to do that was so much more important than being my daughter?" I fought not to let the emotion choke my voice.

She leaned forward and removed her glasses. Her green eyes were striking against the auburn she had chosen for her hair. She chuckled.

"You are too young to be my sister; too old to be my daughter. So how to answer you...

...It may not be about her job, you know,"

"How do you mean?"

"Perhaps it's not about what her job is. Perhaps God is interested in what you have to do that is so much more important than looking after a soul he has already taken into himself."

I met her gaze and formed another question on my lips.

And then the others arrived.


bhd said...

I'd say something here, but this big old lump that just rose in my throat is getting in the way.


Justine's HouseWreck said...

Oooof... just ooof. And now I have to go to bed...


Anonymous said...

What a question to ask someone they don't know. As if everyone believes in god.

Beanie said...


I didn't find the question offensive. We had discussed different aspects of faith before, so it wasn't at all out of bounds. She's also been a mentor to me in business matters in the past.

I was just surprised by her reply. It's been rolling around in my head for the last six weeks. Still not sure how I feel about it.

Anonymous said...

I see...


Unknown said...

Wow. I got nothing else. Just "Wow."

Puts a lot of pressure on you to be even more amazing than you already are... love you!

Oh, and "troodin"
(silly confirmation words)

Lisse said...

It's an interesting perspective.

I've always lived by the "everything happens for a reason" philosophy. But then there are some things that are just too unreasonable.

Unknown said...

Beth, This confirms what I've always felt about Kiersten's death: there's something else for YOU to do here...and it will reveal itself in time, when you're ready.

She's a wise spirit your colleague, someone obviously put before you at that moment to help you with the next part of your understanding.

I wish many hugs and love to you my friend in your ever-evolving grief and growth.

Beanie said...

Well, if God has something else in store for me, I would have appreciated prior notification before I fell in love with my daughter. Just sayin'.

Thanks for the thoughts, ladies.